No Strings Attached

It's a phrase many of us have heard as we grow and try new relationships, and now, it's become a blockbuster hit starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Before I go on, let me say that I loved the movie for many different reasons. It was witty, smart, edgy and fun. It's a love story and one that I thought could have been mine several years ago.

In high school, I was sure that one of my guy friends, a best friend really, would be the one. I was sure that somehow I could win him over. He was cute, funny and new me better then most people. Not only did he open up with me and allow himself to be vulnerable with me but he let me in to his life. His mom and dad and little brothers are now apart of my life. They are my second family.

I thought that if I could become a part of his life that he would want me. I was willing to do just about anything for this boy. I even thought that having a relationship with no strings attached would work. I would win him over with my charm and the intimacy. It would make him realize who I am and how lucky he could be.

Without giving too much away about the movie, let me just say that NSA rarely works. It could work for a while, maybe could even be ideal for some people who live hectic lives, but for people looking for passion, commitment and love, it's a big no no! I think the biggest lesson I learned from him and from growing up, is that for both girls and guys, having sex can be one thing, but to use it as a means to make someone like you or thinking it will better yourself is silly.

Sex makes things complicated. It is important in any relationship. Chemistry needs to exist so that the spark never dies, but it isn't everything. Communication, trust and honesty are just as important. And by the way, yes this blog is meant for me to fully self express my thoughts, but I also hope to inspire you to learn and view things in a different light.

Moving forward...

Go figure that...

Teachers, Mentors, Friends

What matters?

We think of life as being this long road or journey. The truth of the matter is, life is pretty short for us. We live to be 60...70...80...90...and for some, more than 100. But in relation to how long human kind has been in existence, our life span is very short.

How do you make your life count? How do you choose which path to go down? What legacy are you going to leave behind?

For me, a big part of who I am is those who have helped me along my way. Although my family means everything to me and everyone in my family has been my biggest support, this post goes out to some memorable, mentionable and extraordinary human beings.

1. Dr. Richard Follett
My English professor for two semesters and confidant. He is both remarkable and kind, bright and wise, charming and brilliant.  My life has changed since I have met him. I write because of him. I want my Ph.D. in education so I can teach and share the knowledge I have gained with the hopes of inspiring at least one other person.

2. Professor Stefanie Frith
It's not every day that you find yourself in a classroom with a teacher so excited to be there that they want their students to visit. Yes, visit. Stefanie is the type of professor who encourages her students to stop by her office just to talk. She is interested. With a young teacher who is motivated and always has a spring in her step, it's hard not to want to succeed.

3. Michal Marks
Since I was 12 years old, Michal has been in my life. Truth, honesty, charisma and intelligence are only a few of the many words that come to mind when I think of her. She pushes her students and friends to raise the bar, shoot for the moon and has no doubt in her mind that any of her pupils will fall short of their dreams.

Teachers are underrated, underpaid and overlooked. Make every day count and never be afraid or modest to use the words love and thanks. Saying I love you and thank you are never overrated.

Who are you grateful for? Who inspires you?


NEW UPDATE: An acronym...

Better to Love...

And so the saying goes, "it is better to have loved then to never have loved at all."

He is 19 years old, recently heartbroken, but still very much in love. Here is the kicker, his ex-girlfriend was my best friend and 'he' is my younger brother. Let me explain...

Since the first day of 8th grade, A and I have been joint at the hip. We stood by each other all through high school and maintained a close relationship while I was 10,000 miles away in Israel for one year. When I came back home, we went out clubbing together, had sushi dates, etc. We were always there for each other.

Traveling back in time again, for my 15th birthday my parents took me to Mexico. It was my family and A. It was fun! The weather was beautiful and there is nothing like making memories with a friend, especially when you are abroad!

The day my family and I came home, my brother (the one who is currently 19 was 13) told me that he had a secret and I couldn't tell anyone. The secret was that A and he had kissed. They waited until I was asleep and hooked up behind my back.

Fine. I let it go. Fast forward to a year ago. I have been home for a few months and A and I are back to our nights out and sleepovers. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and she wasn't next to me. Early the next morning, she comes walking back into my bed in my brothers t-shirt.

She had slept with my brother. Next thing I know I...

Home At Last

Get ready everybody-- this is going to be a long-ish blog.

It's crazy to think that I am coming up on being home (in California) for two years now. I landed at LAX on December 26, 2008. I remember feeling so happy to be in a familiar place and yet, at the same time, I began to have that uh-oh feeling in my tummy. Who am I going to be friends with? What friends from high school are still in town? Did I make the right choice?

The day after I landed I registered for classes at a local community college where my best friend, Anna, from high school was going. Thank goodness! I had at least one person in my life where I knew I wouldn't have to be alone. Now, before you start to think that of me as that girl who is clingy or needy, let me explain...

I have always been a social butterfly. In fact, I was the person in school who had friends in every clique and got along great with everyone. I was loud and fun, perky and silly, and grounded and friendly. But something changed when Year Course ended. I had been waiting my whole life for that year to come and it was over so fast. I lived in a beautiful country where I was making a difference and having the time of my life with my best friends. Subconsciously, I made a choice that no other experience in college would compare. Thus, my attitude and confidence changed.

Anyways, like I was saying, thank goodness for Anna. She began to bring me back to life. We went out and danced, had regular sushi dates and put back the pieces of our friendship since I had been gone. So many things had changed over the year and half we were apart, but we got right back on track immediately.

Now, one of our hot spots for a night out was at the Canyon Club. It's a rather large venue located in Agoura Hills that caters to every age group: Bar Mitzavah parties, 80s night and a cover band for every type of music. Hopefully you can guess that Anna and I hit up the 80s night every Thursday. It's a 21 and up event but we had connections.  Remember I told you I had two friends that kept me strong when I was at McDaniel? Well, one of them worked there. She also is one of my best friends from high school.  

This charade went on for nearly three months;  dancing on the stage, a Sex on the Beach in our hands and endless flirting. Spring Break came so fast. A good friend of mine came into town to visit for break.  During the week it was Talya, Brit and me spending our time shopping, dancing and eating at yummy restaurants.

Well, one day it was just Talya and me. Brit had a busy day and wasn't able to join us. The second Talya was in my car and we began to drive, the first thing she said to me was, "Syd? Are you and Brit hooking up?"

I KNOW! What a shock! I didn't know what to say. We weren't hooking up and I had only ever been with guys before, but for some reason, I started to blush. Turns out that I had been crushing on her for a while.

Come April 4, 2009 I had my first kiss with Brit. It was such an incredible night. It was everything I had wanted. I had never felt so comfortable with someone before. It felt right. A week later she asked me to be her girlfriend. We have been dating ever since.

*SIDE NOTE: Prior to the two of us hooking up, Brit had made a bet with some friends. The bet was that Brit had to go two months without drinking or touching a girl (holding hands is okay-- but that's it! Literally!). Clearly this was silly. What good would that do her? So we all called her two months of good behavior, 60 Days of Bullshit. Anyway, long story short, Brit broke her 60 day mark one week early with me!

More to come later about the scholastic part of my life. For now you are all caught up with my love life, which is relatively important considering that is where half of my venting will come from.

Merry Christmas! By the way, I am Jewish but I love this time of year and the merriment of it all. Today it's Chinese food and movies with my friends!





Ta ta for now!

4-Month Pit Stop

Let's see...

Right, we left off with a brief, yet memorable overview of my year abroad.

June 3, 2008 was a sad day. I boarded the El Al flight that took me home. Yes, I was happy to see my parents and have my big bed back yet, for the first time in my life I had been on my own and survived. Granted there were supervisors in every city I lived in to check in with all of us Young Judaean's,  I still had to learn to create a home and a family every time I moved.

I was only home for a brief period of time. In August I packed my bags yet again and flew out to Maryland with my mom and dad. They were going to move me into my new dorm at McDaniel College. I had been accepted there prior to Year Course and thought it was going to be my new home. The moment we landed in Baltimore I knew I had made a mistake-- a big mistake costing more than $25 thousand. Well, after the silent treatment, a water works show and some yelling matches I thought I knew that I was going to make myself suffer one semester and leave.

Turns out that I can't hold a grudge for too long. I did leave after that fall semester, but I took away some valuable friendships I cherish to this day. In fact, although I knew McDaniel wasn't right for me, saying good bye to my friends was more painful than I had imagined. (And a side note to boost my self-confidence, I left McDaniel with a 3.8 GPA!)

What's more? The people who really kept me strong (aside from my dad) were two of my best friends...

That will be important later, so don't forget!

  -----> For those of you who want to check out the type of college McDaniel is! It caters really well to each individual student. Just wasn't where I wanted my home to be.

The Beginning

What is this blog about and why is it important? Who is going to want to read this and who will it affect?

What's Next? has been created for several reasons. On a selfish note, it's so I can maintain my sanity. By writing, I can freely express myself without any interruptions. On a sharing note, I hope my struggles, obstacles and discoveries can serve as an inspiration to any and every one.

To start, perhaps an introduction and a little background on who I am would be preferable. I am 21 years old and a student earning a degree in journalism. I have been a reporter and an editor on my school's paper and will be next semesters Managing Editor. I love writing. It's a way to be fully self-expressed and unstoppable without judgement.

I won't start at the beginning of my life. Not only would that not be interesting to you, I can't possibly remember it all. Instead, I'll start in August of 2007. I am packing up my clothes, toiletries, a journal and my camera. I am getting ready to start my first year of college...in Israel.

Young Judaea Year Course was the name of the program. I have been a Young Judaean since I was nine and since my dad had participated in all YJ events, I knew that Year Course was a must. That year was probably one of the best years I have ever experienced. The year was broken into trimesters; three months in Akko, three in Holon and three in Jerusalem.

There were 18 of us in all in Akko. We were a part of a Navy boarding school where we became basic licensed sailors. We had classes in knot tying, Hebrew, ninjutsu and ships. It wan an intensive crash course and it was incredible.

In Holon, I volunteered at a magnet arts school where I taught children in 2nd to 7th grade. It forced me to pick up Hebrew quickly in order to better communicate with the children. My primary job was to improve the students vocabulary and spelling. Thus, "ish ta'a'luey" or Hangman, became the game of choice where I would pick song lyrics the students knew that contained that weeks vocabulary words.

Jerusalem was my final destination. There, I studied-- 22 units to be exact where I also received a 3.9 GPA on my completion certificate. I took courses about the Holocaust, minorities in Israel, Hebrew, Art and Judaism and Kabbalah.

Granted the experience was educational and rewarding, there was a fun aspect. I was 18, meaning that I was the legal age to drink and the night life in Tel Aviv never died down. I drank regularly, danced with friends and had dozens of hook-ups (and that does not mean sex). It was great. Being in Israel was the epitome of what I thought college should be like: dating tons of guys, partying and being with friends. Well, that isn't necessarily wrong but it is'nt the truth.

Anyways, that's where we will start on you having a better idea of where I am coming from and me becoming closer to figuring out What's Next?